It’s true. We women are living our whole lives as that beautiful creature which is so delicate that it needs to be caged!
Caged in societal perceptions, rules that only she should follow and burdened under a mountain of expectations. On the surface, she lives in a beautiful house, wears the prettiest clothes, a seemingly doting husband, bright kids, liked by the in laws – a perfect family scenario, isn’t it? Look closely, and you will see the cage she is living in.
The irony is that even though the cage exists, it is in another dimension and has her firmly locked in. So firm, that sometimes she finds it hard to breathe and even think for herself. From worrying about each family member to running after her kids and the many duties she has to fulfill, she has completely forgotten about herself even though she has access to spas and parlours. But is that all there it is, for self love?
She forgot, what food she likes to eat, which places she would like to visit, whether she likes to write or paint and even buy the book she would like to read. Even if she bought it, she still doesn’t have the time to read it. Not only is her financial freedom curbed, she has lost her creative freedom completely too.
There will be days when she will perch her self up to sing a beautiful song and her creative fire will be doused away, informing her that she is not being a good mother and wife. And she will berate herself for even thinking of doing the things she loves, self sabotaging herself.
This is a game being played in the consciousness and invisible to the untrained eye and on the surface it might appear that everything is awesome in her life!
But she is the one who rises like the phoenix from the ashes andall she needs is just a reminder of that.
So while she continues to live in the cage physically, she decides to free herself mentally. Free herself from her own caging thoughts and of those around her. It is difficult as she has been conditioned to believe this to be true and that she should follow this unquestioningly. You see, there was noone around her right now to remind her about this.
And now when she gets the signs, she recognises them instantly and continues to make her way out of the cage. This time on her own terms, not compromising her authenticity. There will be upheavals, emotional outbursts but she has to remain unaffected and instead of simply exiting the cage, learn to simply fly away with that gilded cage.
So that as soon as she builds her strength – physically, emotionally and financially; the cage can be discarded for good. So she works daily to find herself – her true self.
This is a journey many of us have to take. There are no shortcuts while the lucky ones who have all the support reach here faster than the others.
Due to our conditioning and the belief system that girls and women are brought up we continue to find ourselves in a cage. But by changing our perceptions and finding our support with people who build us up and help us grow, we can make these changes in our lives. Most importantly, find clarity about what we want in our lives and who we truly are.
A few weeks back, a message popped on my phone from a friend who is well read, educated, worked earlier and asked me if I could suggest a work from home opportunity for her but she herself didn’t know what she wanted to do. Even though I am connected and people do mention about job openings so I can spread the word around, but sitting down to take a minute about figuring out what we want for ourselves is a task to be undertaken only by you.
It saddens me to no end to see such talented workforce sitting at home just because we have no support system that can provide them a conducive environment to work. And women are excellent at multi tasking, if given the right environment they can manage their work, homes and family very well.
If you are reading this blog today, do think about only yourself today and ask yourself – what is it you want to do and where do you want to go from here and how do you want your life to be?
I can pass over some nuggets that have helped me over the years:
Find friends who are like minded and will help you grow and encourage your endeavours, if you cannot meet them often, join an online group / community where you can easily remain in touch with such people and yet learn about a lot of things around you. I have a Facebook group where we share about everyone’s unique businesses , post about job opportunities available or just encouraging inspiring and positive, videos, posts and blogs. Similar networks and communities can be built on other social media platforms. If used constructively these online platforms have the ability to transform lives.
Turn your hobby into a home business or take classes to share your talent with others. Attend classes and workshops yourself to learn about new things and maybe then you can discover something you like or would want to do.
Open your own bank account and start saving whatever you earn. You might not need the money right now but the independence that comes with your own financial security is unbeatable.
Take charge of your life and your happiness in your own hands. For far too long, we have been busy making everyone else happy, nurturing and loving them.
But we forget it is ‘us’ who needs it the most and only we can provide that and noone else – not our spouse, parents or even friends.
Finding your way in the beginning might be tough but the whole journey is simply beautiful to undertake.
A Hindi film song keeps coming to mind as I type this blog – Jee le zara, jee le zara, kehta hai dil… jee le zara
This post was first published here.